Wow. The Democrats now control the House and the Senate. Even though I am very politically conservative, I think this might be a good thing. For the past six years the Dems have had the luxury of just sitting back and saying, "Hey, don't blame us. The Republicans are in control of everything. All we can do is complain from the sidelines."
It reminds me of the Simpsons episode (before it crossed the line, of course) where Flanders coaches Bart's football team and Homer only shows up to the game to complain from the stands with taunting cheers of, "Flaaaaaaaaaannnnnnders! Flaaaaaaaaaannnnnnders!" Finally, Flanders climbs up the stands, gives Homer the clipboard, and walks away. Homer says something to the effect that he didn't want to coach, he just wanted to taunt the coach. Well, many of the playcalling duties now rest heavily upon the Democratic leadership that has been elected by a country that made it clear that it wanted a change in the political landscape. If only President Bush had access to the political equilavent of Nelson Muntz who could score socio-political touchdowns at will before being hauled off by Chief Wiggum......
In the wake of the election results Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is being replaced, which generates the topic of today's blog. If you were President of the United States, which three Cabinet positions below would you replace and with whom? The person with the most creative suggestions will be honorarily elected President of the United States inasmuch as this blog as authority to grant that title, which is none.
-Dept. of Agriculture
-Dept. of Commerce
-Dept. of Defense
-Dept. of Education
-Dept. of Labor
-Dept. of Justice
Here is my reorganized Cabinet:
Department of Labor: Russian Peasant Woman. According to HOTQA.com (Hot Answers for Pregnancy and Parenting) the record for the most children born to one woman is 69. This always accurate website claims that she had 27 pregnancies, giving birth to 16 pairs of twins, 7 triplets, and 4 quadruplets. The woman has been in labor so often that she should definitely get the cabinet appointment.
Department of Justice: Judge Judy. I was home sick on Wednesday and watched Judge Judy for the first time in years. I love how she judges the case based almost solely upon the summary of the case given by the narrator. I need decisive people surrounding me, and Judge Judy would be the woman for the job. It would also show my commitment to diversity by appointing a crotchety old woman.
Department of Defense: NEPHISTO. I would appoint a person with the screen name of NEPHISTO. This person is currently leading in www.the-battlefield.com's rankings for a strategy/political/military videogame called Civilizations III. Civ III combines all of the simulated military and political action that the SEC DEF would ever face. Sure, NEPHISTO is probably a pimply-faced fourteen-year-old boy living in Nebraska, but if Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, and Ender's Game have taught us anything it is that nerdy teens can save the world.
Okay, Presidential hopefuls, submit your cabinet changes by Friday 11/17. The best suggestions will have you elected President.