All Hail President(s) Zent

Monday, November 20, 2006

The voting results are in and for the first time since Bill and Hillary we have a husband and wife co-presidential team in the White House. These results are final despite voting irregularities that took place in Oregon/Utah as Grandpa Hiatt was disenfranchised due to the move, so I'm sure this will go to the Supreme Court eventually. But until then, congratulations to Presidents Jake and Sandy Zent. The nomination of Mr. T as the SECDEF put you over the top. Here were some of the other notable nominations:

-Andrea: The Jolly Green Giant has always given freakishly tall people a certain amount of hope that we can live happy, fulfilled lives so thank you for nominating him. He would also be a good SECDEF since he could just step on rival armies a-la Godzilla and if the enemy was to blow off an appendage or something, he could just regrow it with some water and direct sunlight.

-Sherwoods: If you've ever seen the amount of mayonnaise that goes on my Cold Cut Combo at Subway, that is not normal either so I guess I can't get all huffy about your first comment (jerks!). Anyway, you had wonderful nominations until you isolated your German-American voters when discussing Mr. Burns and then angering them a second time by bringing up the Kaiser. Also, Groundskeeper Willie can't serve as Secretary of Agriculture because he is not a U.S.-born citizen. Rookies!

-Amy: You are always in contention to win any of these silly challenges and Bill Nye the Science Guy was my overall favorite nomination. You lost me with the Suze Orman quote, however, because if Enron, Worldcom, etc. taught us anything, it's that lies can actually create a whole lot of money. Even though the house of cards eventually crashes down, it could sustain itself at least long enough to get you re-elected.

-Angie: The comments about Forrest honestly made me laugh out loud. I'm sure that each of those of us in the Sweat family all got a chuckle out of the rest of them as well. I'll be honest with you, the odds were stacked against you coming into this Presidential race. You won the last contest among many cries of "Nepotism!" from other, more jaded readers. If you won two in a row after nominating only family members into your cabinet, all three of my non-family readers would revolt for good. Politics is an ugly game.

-Dave: You really scare me.

-Mom: You could really survive in politics with cutthroat comments like the one you made about Jay Leno. What happened? Did he make fun of people who have dozens of rooster-related items hanging up around their kitchens? I've been unaware of the Seagull Book & Tape and Desert Book broo-haw-haw but would only compare Sherri Dew to Janet Reno if her solution was to burn Seagull's corporate offices to the ground like she did with the Koresh compound or if she tried to deport their CEO like she did to Elian Gonzalez.


This comment has been removed by a blog administrator. 6:50 PM check your facts Mr "I Claim to know about filling a cabinet positions" Besides, Nicolle can't be president or vice president, since she was born outside the US. Those positions(President or Vice President) are the only two positions that require the you to be a natural born citizen of the United States.

7:06 PM
Angie Pangie said...

Would your little darling George W. Bush have balked at avoiding the appearance of nepotism!? I say in the name of Jeb . . . NO!

However, this is probably why I like you better than George W. Bush. You are more nuanced in your thinking, more sensitive to the feelings of others.

So for that, I forgive you.

With love,
Your (big . . . and getting bigger for two whole more months) sister

7:44 PM
Presidents Zent said...

Despite the comparison to Billary, we humbly accept your one-man vote to the presidency and will strive to do our best to pity the fools. And as a bonus, we can count the 10 minutes it took for us to write our cabinet nominations as our hot date for the week, since the kids were asleep at the time.

9:16 PM
Amy said...

In response to the Suze Orman quote, I think I agree with you. She'd still be good for the Dep. of Commerce (since she's probably crazy enough to take the national debt), but truth has no place in our government. Silly me.

Between you and me, Dave sometimes scares me too.

7:49 AM
Mom said...

cool! an author had their post removed? I'll bet it was some wacky Democrat spying on this blog!

Thanks for the honorable mention - I'm thinking of buying a GIGANTIC ceramic rooster for you and Andrea for Christmas and will expect to see it lovingly displayed on the kitchen countertop each and every time I come visit.


12:05 PM
andrea said...

Yeah! We'll get to hear "Whole Chicken" comments from Whitney all day every day. hee hee (that's my substitute for the banned smiley face)

I knew the tall person comment would get me props from Drew. My secret to these challenges: know your audience.

1:17 PM
Ang said...

Okay, so Drew, it's been OVER A WEEK and no blog entry. I know you're a bishop and a father and a husband and an HR manager and also inexplicably devoted to the LA Lakers (which must take up some enegry, if only to keep the flame alive), but come on. You can't tease us with such a good blog and then leave us hanging. We need more!

9:40 PM