Holy Heck - Angie Wins!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Thanks to all of you for the excellent comments to the Hagoth Award challenge. There were several that made me laugh out loud, including Dave's snide remark to Tony. After putting all of the comments through a completely arbitrary rating system, the winner of the coveted Hagoth Award is Angela Hallstrom. You can now put this coveted award on your author's bio! Ang has won this wonderful Ethnic Polynesian MisCheif doll (pictured at left) which promises to "transport you to the lush rain forests of Polynesia where the sounds of cascading water falls and tropical birds flood the senses." According to Mormon doctrine, the Polynesians are descended from Hagoth, hence the Polysnesian inspired award.

It was the fake cussing that put Angie past Andrea, Tony, and Mom who all tied for second place. Now that we no longer live in Provo, which is perhaps the fake cussing capital of the universe, I have come to enjoy life without excessive use of words like "fetch".

Special recognition go to the following people for their posts:

1. Dad Sweat - Completely surprised that you would post in the first place, but then you came up big time with the Joke Stealer comment.
2. Andrea - Gilbert Gottfried was one of only two posts that scored a perfect 20. How is this guy still employed?
3. Mom - Madonna was the other perfect 20. I loved how there was no explanation needed, just the name.

You can click on the spreadsheet below to see comments and ratings for all of the entries and to see what place you took. Again, this is a very subjective, random scoring technique that took me all of three mintues to complete. Each entry was given 1 (low) to 10 (high) points for "curious" and "disappear". The more random or weird the comment, the higher the score on the curious scale. The more I felt that the person or thing need to be eliminated from existence, the higher the "disappear" score. If you think you got shafted, go ahead and leave a comment.


Sandy said...

Wow, I feel so honored to not have come in last place. Although I feel that mice should have been scored at LEAST as high as slugs (but Andrea has the home team advantage). I do think the maternity pants should have gotten a higher score -- anyone who has ever had to try and wear those stupid things should know that they aren't made for actual pregnant women who don't want to look like a plumber. I totally agree that Gilbert Gottfried should be the #1 best entry -- although now I wish I would have said his female counterpart, Fran Drescher, instead of mice. Doh. Next time we'll put the whole Zent powerhouse (meaning Jake and I) on the job.

6:30 AM
Amy said...

Although I completely agree with Angie on the maternity pants, I'm surprised that they scored so high on a "male" blog. I am very humbled by being wasted on this post after winning the last one, but there were a lot of great comments. My favorites included: car commercials, talk starters, bad commercials, and fake swearing. That was a great competition Andrew.

7:25 AM

When I was a child, I had a deep and abiding envy of my brothers' sports trophies. Sure, I was Annie in the ward roadshow. Sure, I was 7th grade class secretary. Sure, Grandma Ranquist bought me a silk kimono and a strand of pearls when she went to China and brought the boys home polyester track suits. But trophies? I had only two, one from the reflections contest and another from the "Be Kind to Animals Week" poster competition.

But this. THIS! I have the Hagoth award. It makes up for all those nights I lay awake, pondering my worth, wondering if anyone would ever give ME an award significant enough to validate my very existence. Plus, the award itself is both cute and a little bit freaky, which is my favorite combination of attributes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you all! This is freakin' awesome!

Angela "Hagoth" Hallstrom

7:58 AM

By the way . . .

Are you sure that the former Olds Cutlass and Taurus owner isn't Grandpa Hiatt?? I think they had those cars, too . . .

Not that Dad couldn't be witty AND post on a blog :-)


8:00 AM
andrea said...

Sweet. I'll take second place any day--even if it is a 3 way tie. I thought both the sexy commercials and ED commercials were great nominees. And I guess I'm the only woman out there who buys the low-rise maternity pants. Who cares if they slip down once in a while--they're so comfortable! I can't stand having that big panel in the middle of my belly. Ok, I'll stop there. I think this is getting way too feminine for a guy blog.

10:52 AM
Dave said...

I'm starting to doubt your reasoning skills, Andrew. My items were classic, but oh well. As for the lack of stop lights killing everybody, that was the point. Natural selection.

5:29 PM