In my Zeniff-like overzealousness to rush to announce the winner of the Hagoth Award (again, props to Angie for her overall brilliance and Andrea for the Gilbert Gottfried contribution), I forgot to make my three nominations! An unforgiveable journalistic oversight. You can even feel free to judge my nominations on your own random scoring scale in your comments if you would like. This could be especially theraputic if you feel you were robbed by my ratings. So, here are the three curious things or people that just need to go away:
1. Terrell Owens. For those of us who follow the NFL, go to ESPN.com, or listen to
sports radio, the T.O. coverage is enough to drive you nuts. They should start an ESPN-6 station that is devoted to nothing but the Cowboy's loudmouth primadonna so that the rest of the sports news media can cover other important stories, like BYU football cracking the Top-25. Go Coogs!
2. The Nerd-Boy Scientitsts Who Stripped Pluto Of Its Planetary Status. As a kid, Pluto was my favorite planet because it was named after a Disney character and I could always remember that it was last in order in the solar system, unlike confusing planets like Neptune. Is Neptune the fifth planet? Seventh? Fourteenth? Does it have rings or a giant red spot? Or is it a goiter.....Anyway, you can't raise an entire generation of kids under the assumption that Pluto is a planet and then just pull the rug out from under them. Even if it doesn't technically qualify as a planet, shouldn't the scientists just have said, "Well, we are too far into this planet thing. Let's just let it slide"?
3. The WNBA. Since a surprisingly high number of the readers of Normal Mormon Husbands is female, please don't comment about this being a purely sexist nomination. In fact, unless you can name the team that won the WNBA championship last year, list the names of the best Guard, Forward, and Center in the league (without having to look anything up), and have watched an entire WNBA game, you cannot hack on me for nominating this awful league. The WNBA has got to go because it is a bad product, plain and simple. After ten years of consistenly declining attendance figures and a number of folded franchises, it's time for the NBA to pull the plug on this league that is more of a social/PR statement than anything else.
I have a great deal of respect for female athletes. My mom played powderpuff football. My wife and sister both lettered in multiple sports in high school. Andrea and I went to a lot of BYU womens' volleyball games and they were absolutely amazing athletes. I hope my daughter earns a full-ride sports scholarship one day. The annoying fact about the WNBA is that David Stern and the NBA brass keep the league afloat by subsidizing its losses with the NBA's profits. Let's not even mention the enormous amount of free advertising the WNBA gets on ABC and ESPN and still draws horrible ratings that continue to decline. The WNBA needs to follow the example of other failed sports leagues like the XFL, USBL, and CBA and go the way of Hagoth.