In the movie Hoosiers, Jimmy Chitwood goes absolutely nuts in a couple of the quick-edit sequences to condense a 32-minute high school basketball game into a seventy six second montage. Congratulations to Greg and Nicolle Sherwood for entering the zone and hitting nothing but net with their three nominations.
I still remember being a kid and watching the coach (Gene Hackman) design a play that uses Jimmy Chitwood (or "J-Chit" as he would now be called) as a decoy to free up one of his teammates to attempt the game-winning shot. All of the players stare off silently into the distance and then Jimmy says that manly line in his humble but confident tone, "I'll make it", which, of course, he does. That scene had such an impact on me as a boy that I even used it once when my little league basketball coach, Gary Norman, was designing our last second play. I looked him in the eye and said, "I'll make it", but I think my teammates rolled their eyes instead of smiled enthusiastically. Anyway, it was going to be my moment in time. I would become a legend. But, as often happens when destiny seems imminent, the ball was turned over before it even came to me. The Sherwood's other two quotes perfectly captured the essence of manly movie moments, so props to Greg and Nicolle.
Here are the other awards:
Runner-Up Award Winner: Forrest. Excellent nominations and the comment to mom about Stake Conference was a classic. Forrest could have won just as easily as the Sherwoods because he identified three truly manly moments. The Indiana Jones sequence that didn't even need words was particularly impressive. I gave the award to the Sherwoods because they nailed it with the Hoosiers reference. But should the Sherwoods have to relinquish the crown becasue of conduct unbecoming of recipients of this award, Forrest stands ready to assume the throne. So Forrest, just be patient for about three days and you'll be the new winner. Believe me, I know these Sherwoods pretty well.......
Bizarro World Award Winner: Angie. If the category were "Girliest Quotes Ever Muttered By She-Males" you definitely would have won. Unfortunately, we were looking for pretty much the polar opposite of nominations that led in with a quote on estrogen and finished with a reference to perfume. (But Ang, don't tell anybody this - I totally cried when Tom Cruise said "you..complete..me..." too! I thought I was the only one. Nice to know I have somebody with whom I can share my most intimate feelings. I will now go gargle peppermint Scope to combat the taste of vomit rising in my mouth....)
Goosebumps Award Winner: Andrea. Sure, Andrea has a decided advantage because she knows which movies I like and which quotes I use when I'm pretending that I can do more than six consecutive push-ups. "My name is Neo!" gave me goosebumps. If I could go back in time I would re-live the awkward day between being set apart as an Elder but waiting to enter the MTC. Each of those people who said, "Congratulations, Andrew!" would get a response of, "My name....is......Elder!" and then I'd fly away with my black suit coat fluttering in the wind.
The "I'm Glad I Live In North Carolina Award": Dave. I will not be surprised when one evening Katie Couric interrupts my regularly scheduled broadcast with a special report from Colorado. She will report that a group of scantily-clad, insconiderate Engineers have used robots and moon buggies to lead a bloody revolution in Denver. Good UHF reference, by the way. I actually watched bits and pieces of it two weeks ago when the college football game I was watching went to commercial. UHF was the Saturday afternoon matinee.
The "Proof that You Can Be Manly and Funny" Award: The Zents. Though not particularly manly, the "Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it" quote is classic. Jake, it's time to man up and use it on a student one day. And to answer your question, you are no longer the Presidents. A true President would not be worried about the reprecussions that could come from the principal for putting some students in their places. You've been impeached!
The "Trying Desperately to Prove Big Men Can Come in Little Packages" Award: Amy. The little guy on Princess Bride followed by a Kip quote? They are two of the non-manliest men in the world, though you did pull some good quotes from them. All you needed was some witty banter between Danny Devito, Billy Crystal, and Regis Philbin.