And The "Oscario" Goes To........

Friday, June 15, 2007

Sorry for the delay in announcing the winner, but there has been precious little time to blog lately with the cruise we just took, preparing to sell our house, and being part of a huge acquisition at work that just closed today. Life is slowly returning to normal so I should be able to post more often.

First of all, major props to Paul, Jeremy, Jackie/Rob, Mom Sweat, and Andrea for their entries. Because only one of them can be made into a movie right now, I wanted to give each of them an "Oscario" for their effort. (Editor's Note: "Oscario" is the Guatemalan cousin to the famous Oscar presented at the Academy Awards. Fortunately, by using Oscario's likeness I can in no way be sued by the Academy for trademark infringement. Viva Guatemala and it's lax copyright laws!)

Oscario for Best Quote: Rob/Jackie
There are a few movie lines that will live on forever, such as, "Win one for the Gipper", "We have traced the call and it's coming from INSIDE the house", "ET phone home", "You. Complete.Me.", and "Sweep the leg, Johnnie! Get him a bodybag!". Rob/Jackie continued the tradition with the immortal line, "Too close for water jets, switching to drills."

Oscario for Best Choreography: Jeremy
I laughed out loud with the "You Got Served" dance competition. That is one of my favorite lines to just randomly say to people. I can envision this scene playing out with one of the dancers being humiliated, only to then break out a Vanilla Ice/MC Hammer dance combo that brings down the house. The way that you tied Electric Boogaloo into your movie was a stroke of genius. I wonder what ever happened to Ozone......

Oscario for Best Social Commentary: Paul
The sentence about the family being unable to identify our minivan amid the sea of minivans in the church parkinglot hit home tonight. We asked the kids what they would like to name our Grand Caravan and they decided on "Hot Rod". Just tonight we went out to dinner and before we got three spaces down the parking lot Whitney said, "Look dad - another Hot Rod". An identical Grand Caravan was parked right next to us. Too bad Seinfeld is off the air. You could have been a writer for the show with witty social commentaries that start off with, "So what's the deal with the iPod anyway....."

Oscario for Eclipsing "Water World" As the Most Expensive Movie Ever: Mom Sweat
I really, really wanted to make my mom's movie. With the readership of the blog being predominantly LDS, I enjoyed the references to 72-hr. kits and Enrichment. The audience would have loved it. However, my Producer reminded me that we are on a tight budget. If we don't turn a profit on the movie, I have to sell one of my kidneys to Paramount Studios to help cover the losses. My best estimate puts the budget for mom's movie at $84,398. The 3 used minivans needed to get a good take of the car wreck would run about $58k. A prosthetic leg about $17k. Iguanas are not cheap, either, plus I would have to use CGI to make it burp. While mom's was perhaps the best on paper, the studio bigwigs will not green light it.

Oscario for the "Big Winner Whose Movie Will Get Made": Andrea
Okay, okay, I'm going to preemptively prevent you from claiming nepotism on this one. This has nothing to do with the fact that National Enquirer and Us Weekly published those incriminating photos of Andrea and me, "canoodling on the beach in Bahamas and Grand Cayman last week....". Andrea winning has nothing to do with the alleged romantic relationship between us. my publicist is asking that I do not say anything more on the subject except that Andrea are good friends and we would appreciate some privacy in our personal affairs.

That said, Andrea wrote a very good plot and she had the guts to do it first. She had a couple of days of a head start on the rest of the posts, so I had been turning possible plot lines and dialogue around in my head for a while before any other posts came in. It is going to be a hilarious movie when it gets made. Think National Treasure meets the Bourne Identity with a twist of Davinci Code and a sprinkle of Tommy Boy.

It will take some time to get the movie made since we are right in the middle of our move. Our 5 year-old son, Brandon, has joined the Screen Actors Guild and is holding out for more money on the part that I offered him. Whitney is finishing filming, "Air Bud 9: The Aggressive In-Line Skating Dog Who Solves Crimes While Simulatneously Repairing A Strained Father/Son Relationship". Gene Shalitt gave it two paws up.

Thanks again for the entries, they were, as Oscario would say, "Excelente!"