One of the blessings of being the father of a three-year-old little girl is being able to read classical literature to her. While we are not quite to Little Women or Pride and Prejudice yet, I think I have read every Disney book that mentions the word "princess" in it about a dozen times. One of these works of art is Cinderella III: A Twist in Time. In this book, the Evil Step Mother steals the magic wand and grants a wish to her daughter, the evil Anastasia, to switch places with Cinderella and be married to Prince Charming (I think his real-world name is Doyle Butz, which didn't test high enough on the "dreaminess" scale with test audiences so they settled on Charming). The switch-a-roo takes place one year after Cinderella and Doyle were married. After getting over the disturbing "I'm stealing my sister's husband" plot line, I asked myself, "If I had that magic wand, who would I switch places with?"
This is also the theme for this week's contest. Please submit the name of one person that you would want to switch places with for a day and why. I will get out my magic wand and grant the wish to the best entry. After careful consideration, here are some of my possibilities.
1. Bear Grylls - star of "Man vs. Wild" on Discovery Channel. I think every red-blooded male at one time or another has thought to himself, "I bet I could survive for a month in the jungle with nothing but a Rambo knife and a granola bar." Well, Bear actually goes out and does it. Since we do not have cable at home, I always hope that a Man vs. Wild marathon will be showing in my hotel room when I travel for work. On those evenings I'm usually up until 2:16 a.m. and then fall asleep with my glasses on, remote in hand, and cannot concentrate on the next day's meetings. Oh well, it's worth it. If I ever fall in quicksand, get attacked by a python, or fall through the ice and have to avoid blood-thirsty killer whales, I will be prepared to survive thanks to my good friend Bear.
2. Mario Williams - Defensive End, Houston Texans. He was the first overall pick in last year's NFL draft. He signed a 6-year, $54 million contract as a 21 year-old rookie. Mario is not only athletic and wealthy, but he is not held to the highest behavioral standards either. I read this today on ESPN.com and couldn't help but laugh at the following passage about Mario's "maturity" after a tough rookie season, "If you don't count his unscheduled appearance in a YouTube video driving his burnt-orange Lamborghini at 150 mph on a highway in North Carolina, it's been a pretty solid offseason for Williams.'He's matured a lot as a person,' second-year coach Gary Kubiak said. 'There's no doubt about that'". Hold on a second here. Have any of you ever even considered doing anything that reckless in your life? Probably not. Oh to be young, athletic, rich, and be considered to be on your best behavior for only driving your Lamborghini at 150 MPH.
3. Any NBA Player Not Named Jason Williams. There were three Jason Williams in the NBA at the same time. One of them accidentally shot and killed his chauffeur with a shot gun and then tried to cover up the crime. The other was a 1st round draft pick who nearly killed himself on a bullet bike before playing in his first NBA game. His leg was mangled so badly that they did not know if he would ever walk again. The final Jason Williams was kicked out of U. of Florida for drug offenses, drafted in the first round, and then suspended later by the NBA for failure to comply with its drug program. It was so confusing a couple of years ago to talk about Jason Williams and then have to clarify with, "No, I'm talking about the white guy with the drug problem, not the one in traction or the one convicted of negligent homicide."
4. Javier Sotomayor. He is the world record holder in the high jump with a leap of 8 feet 1/2 inches. I cleared 6'7" in high school and can only imagine what 8 feet must feel like.
Okay, there is my list. Please send me who you would like to trade places with and I will pick a winner.