New State Slogans

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Excellent comments from each of you on the alternate state slogans. While there were several chuckle-worthy entries that deserve some additional props, there is only one of them that I had the time, patience, and Microsoft Paint skills to turn into an actual license plate. (I am hoping that this is the only license plate that I ever make and that I am not one day pumping them out for $.25/hr. at San Quentin. I just saw a documentary about that prison and was impressed with the inmates' abilities to make shanks out of almost anything. The prison seemed to have the same feel as Kearns High School, where our basketball team goal was not to win, but to get home without multiple stab wounds.) Here are my subjective, biased thoughts on the submissions:

Arizona Winner:
-"But It's a Dry Heat." Loved this. I have lived in NC for the past four years after living in the Atacama Desert in Northern Chile, Tucson, and Las Vegas. I know what it feels like when the thermometer hits 115. When I try to explain to people in NC just how hot 115 is, many of them just dismissively say, "But it's a dry heat". I've felt 95 degrees with 90% humidity in Greensboro and, sure, it made me sweat like a farm animal, but the heat just cannot compare to the Arizona desert. I'll quote from Elder Chris Dixon's most recent letter to me. He is from Greensboro and serving in Las Vegas, "The one thing I hate is when people say, 'it's a dry heat', but what they don't realize is that when it's, hot, it's hot!" 'Nuf said, Elder.

Arizona Runners Up:
-"Trying to make you believe that xeriscaping actually looks pretty since 1984." You can only arrange dark maroon rocks so many ways. Plus I learned a new word that I had never heard before and I have a personal bias toward words that start with "X". If (big IF) we have any more kids, I'd love to name one of them Xander, Xavier, or any other name starting with "X". When playing sports, he or she could be called "The X-Factor"....I'm drooling with the possibilities right now....
-"Because rebelling against Daylight Savings Time is cool." Daylight Savings Time is one of the worst plagues that "conspiring men" have unleashed upon the world in the latter days. I can never adjust to waking up an hour earlier. I think this is just part of an evil conspiracy to make me late for 7:00 a.m. Bishopric meetings as my body adjusts to the time change over a 12-week period.
-"We beat the Yankees". I was living in Tucson when the Diamondbacks pulled off that completely magical World Series. Great group of guys on the team, thrilling games, and a big upset. The only more heart-warming baseball moment since then has been the feel good story of Barry Bonds' pursuit of Hank Aaron's home run record. (I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.)

Idaho Winner:
-"Home of that guy from the first season of the Apprentice.". Who could forget our beloved Troy, the guy who could pull off the "shucks, I'm just glad to be here. What with all the plumbin' and horseless carriages and all" shtick and then mercilessly pound his competition in the challenges? When we were out west a few years ago I saw his face on a gigantic billboard off of the freeway promoting his real estate business. Looks like he may of had some success after the show. Or he could have tried to strike while the iron was hot, failed miserably, and is now auditioning for Big Brother 12.

South Carolina Winner:
-"Hey Georgia, our state fruit is the peach TOO! Hahahahahaha!" I had always heard of the Georgia peaches, but had never known about SC's attempt to steal GA's peachy thunder until we drove from Arizona to North Carolina. As we went through SC, I kept thinking, "Get over the peaches already! That's Georgia's claim to fame." Since this whole blog entry began with Ohio trying to rip off nearly every other state's slogan, it is only fitting that South Carolina be recognized for their shameless lack of creativity.

And the Grand Prize Goes To:

Nicely done, Ang. Nicely done.


Ang said...

Thank you, thank you. I'm very impressed with your license plate, little bro. I think that having Jon Heder's head adds a certain "Je ne sais quoi" to the already colorful and splashy Idaho license plate. They should seriously consider it!

7:01 PM
Bitter runner up Greg Sherwood said...

One word - nepotiz!!

7:48 PM
jeff said...

nice job ang - and nice license plate andrew.

looking forward to the next contest.

11:32 AM
Denny & Joe said...

Andrew -- Haven't checked in on your blog for awhile. It's hysterical. Love the state slogans. I also loved your 32 reasons why you feel old at 32 (especially Strawberry Shortcake's popularity likened to the Nephite pride cycle). I remember right after graduating from BYU and noticing a couple of (what I thought were) lines on my neck and's all over; I'm old. Thanks for all the laughs.

2:33 PM
Barbara said...

oh Andrew - you crack me up. The Napoleon Dynamite license plate is classic - thanks for sharing the great comedic mind that lurks in your otherwise hard-working and grown-up noggin - I'm so glad that all of your daily grind and responsibilities haven't crowded that part of your personality out - and thanks for taking the time to make me laugh with your writing talent.

3:14 PM
sandy said...

"X-Factor Sweat?" - sorry, but that sounds like a really bad personal hygiene product...(now I'm laughing insanely at my own really stupid joke...oh my goodness I need a nap).

Love the Napoleon license plate -- classic.

12:50 PM