Robo Wars

Saturday, June 21, 2008

We had a pretty laid back Saturday at the Normal Mormon Household today. No Enrichment meetings to go to. No baptisms to attend. Nobody to pick up from the airport. Just a good old-fashioned kick back and be lazy Saturday morning. Aaahhh.

The only item on the agenda was a 3:15 baseball game for our six-year-old son. Since we had some time to kill in the morning, my son asked me if we could make a movie featuring his Lego characters. We have made a few of these types of movies together in the past. They normally involve my son's Lego guys defeating his Bionicles in some sort of intergalactic showdown featuring a lot of lasers and explosions. I'll bet you dollars to donuts that Michael Bay was the same as a six year old.

My son came up with the general idea for the theme of the movie and wrote most of the script (you'll probably pick up on the references to current events that I ad-libbed). Since the script called for three main characters, we decided to invite my four-year-old daughter to participate in the project. After an hour's worth of work, we came up with a final product that we are proud of. In fact, Roger Ebert said our movie was eight times better than "Get Smart", "The Love Guru", "Hulk" and "You Don't Mess With the Zohan" combined. Sure, that's kind of like somebody telling you that you are way better looking than Napoleon Dynamite and/or Pedro, but we'll take the compliment anyway.

Pop some popcorn. Get a soda. Gather the family. Ladies and gentlemen, the Normal Mormon Husband Studio proudly presents, "Robo Wars".

Feel free to comment with your favorite parts, lines, etc. or to just give the hardest-working six year old in the business some props.

Feel free to vote for the following categories in the polls on the right-hand column.

-Best Sound Effect
-Best One Liner
-Most Dramatic Moment

Just don't tell the producers of "The Terminator", "The Matrix", or "The Simpsons" when the robots go berzerk at Itchy & Scratchy land. The last thing we need is another lawsuit. Thanks a lot, Amy Grant!

Last Update: 6/25/2008

First of all, I am shocked - SHOCKED! - that award for "best one liner" will most likely go to the McGiver/Family line over "I love mechanical engineering!". I didn't see that one coming at all.

Asenath: Let me reassure you by telling you that we did not see Zohan in the theaters. In fact, my wife and I rarely ever go see new releases anymore. If a movie looks worth seeing we normally wait a few weeks and then see it at the $2.50 cinema. Even when Zohan, Love Guru, etc. hit the discount (read: cheap date) theater, we are not going to see them anyway. We gave up on the whole Mike Myers/Adam Sandler/Jim Carrey/Will Farrell PG-13 comedies a long, long time ago. That whole genre of comedy has become too crude for our tastes over the last several years. The death of the "dumb comedy" took place for us about five or six years ago when we went to see a PG-13 Adam Sandler movie that we had heard was hilarious. Well, we ended up walking out of the theater about twenty minutes into the movie and have never been back to see similar sophomoric films. Now we always check to get a feel for how much profanity, innuendo, etc. is in a movie before we go see it. Are we alone in this, or are there others of you out there who are desperately wishing that Myers/Sandler/Carrey/Farrell, etc. would put out more movies like "Elf" and less like...well...most of their stuff?

Angela: Of course I remember who you are! We grew up in the same ward, your mom was my Den Mother, my mom taught you piano lessons and your dad was my Bishop. How could I forget? I checked out your blog today and couldn't help but chuckle to see pictures of you as an adult with three kids. I think you were about twelve the last time I saw you. If you want to see how I turned out, click here to see a recent photo of me. I think the years have been a little more gentle on you than they have been on me. Good hearing from you.

The Peton's: Cool! Another long lost homie from the Wesside. Gotta represent the W-V-C. The 8-0-1. The Hizzzz-un to the hizzz-ter. (Okay, that's the extent of my gangsta talk. Now I'm just sounding like a pathetic 33-year-old white HR Manager who is more worried about pestering his congressman about his property taxes than "keeping it real.") Feel free to email me at to give me the lowdown about you and your husband. You know, shout me a holla. Old school.

Susan M.: Thanks for the compliment by saying that the movie is the "Most awesomest awesomeness ever." With grammar like that, we may ask you to be one of our writers in our next film. Having a writer and a script may help me avoid making common mistakes like calling the gun a "Windex bomb" in one scene and then a "Clorox bomb" in the next. Oh well, hopefully that little gaffe did not distract from the overall message that robots, no matter how much we try to avoid it, will one day kill us all. In fact, my blender is attacking me right now...gotta go.....arrrrgggh.....ughh......helllllllpppp.....meeeeee.......


Shelley said...

boo-boo stole the show as jake - who hates cleaning toilets, loves mechanical engineering, and has to go to ballet (complete with a dance solo and music). also classic were boo-boo and the joker's "robot voices" and the nmh feeding lines to the cast via very soft whispers. the joker also delivered his very long line at the end very well - best nmh movie yet! give my congrats (and an oscar) to the joker for me.

7:40 PM
Amy said...

Great job - all three of you! I voted for the toilet flushing as my favorite sound effect, but my true favorite was the music during dance class.

7:41 PM
carrie said...

very impressive robo voices! and thank goodness you are related to macgyver!!

8:59 PM
tkangaroo said...

Hands down, the best line was "I looked up on new.FamilySearch that we are related to McGuyver!" LOVE IT! Nice job!

10:12 PM
Jennifer said...

Loved it. Really good job. I see a bright future for The Joker.

1:56 PM
Brenda said...

Hilarious! I like "the robot asked if my legs worked" line. Although you need to remind viewers to silence their cell phones as I forgot...

5:26 PM
Megan said...

Excellent job for a six-year old who can beat me in bocce ball. We liked the clorox and windex bombs. Think you could make me a robot?

7:35 PM
Natalie said...

Hilarious! You guys should go into the biz for reals yo.

9:33 AM
Ang said...

What a fun video. Good job B-train! And Whit, your voice-over skills are the tops. Your cousin Ethan's going to have a great time making movies with you guys . . .

11:59 AM
Asenath said...

That movie was probably the best I've seen in a long time (please tell me you didn't pay money to go and see Zohan in theaters).

My favorite part would definitely have to be the ballet solo. Over all though I thought the script was fantastic and you should be proud to have such creative little ones. :)

1:23 PM
Angela said...

That was awesome. If you don't mind I think I might totally rip off your idea and do something like that with my kids.
It was a close call between the mechanical engineering line and the related to McGuyver line, I swear I had to think about it for at least 30 seconds, but ultimately I had to go with mechanical engineering. Too cute.
By the way, if you're wondering who I am, I'm a Hunter 6th ward native. You might remember some of my brothers: Kyle, Chris, and Kevin.

9:24 PM
Mom said...

Andrew - I loved the movie. Seriously, you and Brandon and Whitney could be the next Napoleon Dynamite sensation. You should post it on YouTube. And hi Angela, sister of Chris and Kyle and Kevin - hope you and your little guys are doing great and that you're still playing the piano!

9:54 PM
Rebekah said...

Loved the video. Especially the MacGuyver reference. I also really love Robot Parade - great soundtrack!

8:01 AM
Rebekah said...

That was awesome! we all enjoyed it!

10:41 AM
Sandy said...

That was awesome - my favorite part was the ballet music solo, plus such "totally written by a 6-year-old lines" as "rue the day" and "I found out on Family Search that we're related to MacGuyver". Good times:)

1:53 PM
Susan M said...

Most awesomest awesomeness ever.

7:58 AM
The Peton's said...

Hi NMH. I regularly read your blog and really enjoy it. My cousin from Idaho turned me to this blog, and it's so funny. I noticed the WVC heritage and realized I went to Jr. High with you guys. I was in Tony's class. My husband went to your high school. Small world.

I must say, when the lego guys were trapped in their little prisons, I thought I smelled a McGyver line coming. I was right.

11:36 AM
Anonymous said...

Hi Andrew! It's Tara Seamons (well Huhmann now) :) from the old days at HHS. Your blog is HYSTERICAL! I just showed my six year old daughter the robots movie and she said, "Can we watch it again? That was awesome!" I think she would get along fabulously with your son considering she loves all things boy especially robots and legos and the like. I have a blog that I never update! I will e-mail you the link - if you still remember me! ha ha! Again, great job on the robots video! You guys ROCK!

4:13 PM
Melinda said...

That was great! I liked the robot voices. And I think a few days in robot prison might be worth having somebody else do the chores. Do robots change diapers?

7:40 PM