Join the NMH Fantasy Football League (Plus Madden Thoughts)

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

(Guys - I'll get right to the point just in case your boss walks into your cubicle before you can read this whole post. I'm starting a Normal Mormon Husbands fantasy football league. I have really enjoyed getting to know some of you complete strangers through your comments on my blog, so I thought we could have some fun with a fantasy league. Email me by Wednesday 8/20 at nmhusband[at]hotmail[dot]com if you are interested. It will be a free Yahoo! league and we will have an online live draft on 8/29 or 8/30. If you can't make the draft, you can rank the players in advance and the computer will draft based on your rankings. Let me know if you want to play and which night you prefer for the draft.)

Tonight the Normal Mormon Wife went to her monthly Girls Night Out at a delicious restaurant. She apparently needed a few nights off to recover from her monthly Book Club meeting, which was four nights ago. I don't bring this up to complain about being left at home with the kids while she enjoys herself. The NMW works hard enough taking care of the kids every day that I'm glad she is able to get out and have some fun with her friends a few nights a month. Plus, I was able to flip between the Olympics, Wipe Out and Jail tonight while she was gone, so I had a pretty productive evening in her absence.

The reason that I bring this up is because most 30-something Mormon men have very little guys-only social interaction. The closest thing I have in my life to book club is meeting with the same four men every Wednesday night and Sunday morning for a fun little event we call "Bishopric". While I couldn't ask to serve in the church with a better group of guys, let's face it, Bishopric meetings simply do not provide the same social appeal as discussing "The Hiding Place" or stuffing our faces with cheesecake.

So in response to the fun our wives have with book clubs, candle parties, girls nights out, and visiting teaching, I'm starting a Normal Mormon Husbands fantasy football league. The details are in the first paragraph. Let me know if you are interested.

Also, I would be remiss to talk about football tonight and not celebrate the 20th anniversary of the Madden video game franchise as Madden '09 was released today. Outside of my immediate family, I have probably spent more time listening to John Madden's voice than any other in the world. That's what happens when you are 33 years old and still have an insurmountable compulsion to squeeze in a few games on your Madden 2008 franchise every week. Call me a nerd if you wish, but I don't think I will ever outgrow playing Madden. I thoroughly enjoy the franchise mode and playing the role of GM, coach, and player. I love seeing how much money I can make by drafting rookies with 99 speed ratings, signing them to 7 year contracts, and then developing them into All-Pros. I love moving my franchises to Salt Lake City and renaming my team "The Stormin' Mormons" and slapping a pioneer logo on the helmet. I spend a couple of hours doing rookie scouting and making my picks after every season. I am a complete sports stats dork and have a great time breaking every single single-season record in passing, rushing, receiving, touchdowns, sacks, and Steve Smith sucker punches to his teammates unsuspecting faces.

I buy a new copy of Madden for my PS2 every year but usually wait until the game is a few months old and drops from $50 to $30. While I was not waiting in line to buy it first thing this morning, I am intrigued with the AI upgrades the '09 version is supposed to feature. First, there is an IQ rating that goes up and down based upon your performance in every game. I've heard the game is even smart enough to drop your IQ rating if you watch a movie featuring Paulie Shore or Carrot Top.

But the most promising feature that I've read about is the computer's ability to adjust to your strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you pass a lot, the AI defense will make it harder for you to complete passes. This is going to be a refreshing challenge for me since I can go 16-0 and win the Super Bowl on All-Madden every year by running the same three passing plays and one rushing play that I have in my audibles.

Madden, I salute you.

Gentlemen, I look forward to waxing you in fantasy.

Good day.


Col.Smeag said...

While fantasy football is not my thing I agree that there is a lack of male social interaction in the world today. I'm not talking about sitting around a camp fire grunting. I have for years said the church should have a "homemaking" night for the guys. Like how to use a chain saw with out loosing a limb, how to install a super chager on your mini van or how about knife juggling. You know guy stuff share "SKILZZ" and bond.BTW Go Sun Devils.

11:54 PM
Ang said...

Only a guy as secure in his masculinity as you could use the phrase, "Gentlemen, I look forward to waxing you in fantasy." Just sayin . . .

8:50 AM
Slices said...

I'm in. Where do I go?

10:41 AM
ihenpecked said...

I figured it out. Don't worry about me. I will be the guy taking a kicker in the first round.

10:54 AM
Andymann said...

Doesn't everybody like to pile on the Bishop?

11:34 AM
Jessica said...

I hope you don't mind my comment, I got addicted to your blog with all of your Twilight insights! By the way, don't you want to take a crack at Midnight Sun? I would love to hear your version of what goes through Edwards head! Just a suggestion! Anyway, I agree with your post today. As a stay-at-home mother, I love getting out of the house for some good girl time with my mom and sisters or friends and I have never considered that my hard- working husband could use some "guy time". I think I forget that while I am the one home all day every day, he still works just as hard and deserves some free time as well! Thanks for giving me some perspective on this and do you mind if I tell my husband about your fantasy football thing? You don't know each other, but it is something he might like!

11:49 AM
normal mormon wife said...

Three things:

First, you might want to clarify that you were talking about the TV show "Jail." It kind of sounded like you were having multiple arrests throughout the night while I was gone. there anything you need to tell me about your criminal record?

Second, I think you may have heard John Madden's voice MORE than you've heard mine over our married lives. If only I had more clever quips to make about football.

And, finally, is your league only open to Normal Mormon HUSBANDS? (Meaning no wives?) Just curious.

2:52 PM
balletkitten said...

hey! this is Jessica Ranquist. I just wanted to let you know that I started a blog about Drake and his mission...with some extra family info! If you want to check it out, it's

please leave comments!!! I'm going to show my parents on my dad's birthday next week (Aug 20th) and think it would be cool to have some! thanks!!!
p.s. i'm trying to find people's blogs, but please spread the word!

6:56 PM
John said...

You should do a post about guys and friends. I know that my closest friends are the ones I had in high school (from church) and I still only talk to them a few times a year. I haven't really kept up with my freshman year buddies, mission companions, or post-mission/pre-marriage roomates. While I've made friends at work and at church, there isn't a lot of potential for keeping in touch were we to move somewhere else, which is how I kind of measure just how good of friends I have. My wife has the need for female companionship and closeness, and has made a few good friends, but my need for male interaction isn't high on my priority list. If I can get away for a few hours on a Saturday to watch BYU football with some guys in the ward, then I get my fill of guy time just from that.

8:55 PM
Ericrazy said...

Story time!! *ehem*

A couple years ago I was stuck in a Sports Marketing class with half of my highschool's football team. In said class we each made our own fantasy football teams and mine almost pwned by taking a grand 2nd place. Afterwards I was banned from playing fantasy football by the teacher and quarterback, and then shunned for getting the highest grade in the class XD

Would I be correct in the assumption that abnormal, female YSA's are a 'no' for joining in on the cyber-pigskin?


8:57 PM
John said...

Though I am intrigued by the Fantasy football offer. I'll have to think about that.

8:59 PM
Mi Piace said...

I guess my husband falls into the "normal Mormon Husbands" (I don't know if i'd use the word "normal" though) category. He's also obsessed with Madden and ANYTHING football--including fantasy football. YOUR POOR WIFE. Ifeel for her. She needs to have her monthly book club meetings and girls night out Just to recover from last years football season and to prepare for this seasons.
I know that's how i make it through! Awesome blog!

10:19 PM
Jami said...

I have a sudden urge to take cheesecake to the bishopric this Sunday.

9:56 AM
IamLoW said...

As a female- that was the most boring post ever. Can you get back to Twilight please?:)

11:13 AM
Jon-Michael said...

In my old stake, they put on a Super Saturday for guys every March. Classes included, plumbing, drywall repair, computer repair (which I was the annual teacher for a couple of years) among other things. It would end outside in the parking lot with a massive barbecue of hot dogs, hamburgers and male bonding.

4:22 PM
Rae said...

Please put my husband out of his misery (Andymann) and form a flippin' team!! Fantasy Football oozes from the mann's ears. He signs me up every year on his league, I never check it but I think I end up kicking his butt! So please pick him first so he can be a a real team and play with people who know what there doing!!!

4:54 PM
Kiandra said...

People should read this.

11:36 PM
Anonymous said...

PS3 Slim Sales Trounce Xbox 360, Wii 3-to-1

1:25 PM
Anonymous said...

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They say you can play online NHL game tournaments on any console for cash... had anyone tried that before? Looks like a cool idea...
Are there any other sites where you can play sports games for real moneys? I Googled and found only and but it looks these guys don't specialize in sport gamez. Any suggestions?

4:25 AM
Anonymous said...

A little off topic, Guys... I have a question. Last weekend I saw this site:
[url=] - Playstation tournaments[/url]
They say you can play online NHL game tournaments on any console for cash... had anyone tried that before? Looks like a cool idea...
Are there any other sites where you can play sports games for real moneys? I Googled and found only and but it looks these guys don't specialize in sport gamez. Any suggestions?

1:29 AM