Vote Now: The Most Famous Un-Famous Person Around!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

Thanks to all of you who submitted your 15 minutes of fame stories. If you have not yet read all of the submissions, you may want to do so now before you vote in the poll to the right. After serious consideration, discussion, and coin flipping, there were five people who clearly emerged as the most famous of all of us un-famous people. Behold, your finalists!

The Finalists:

Natalie: You stepped in for a pregnant Mia Hamm in a Steven Covey video?! Wow. I'm just glad they didn't ask you to step in for Brandi Chastain and recreate the dramatic World Cup celebration. That would have been awkward. But when it all comes down to it, Coolest Soccer Player in the United States + World Renowned Mormon Businessman = You're In the Finals!

Andymann: Nothing like getting the Church's good name out there by having two sweaty, hungry teen-agers salivating at the front door of an Idaho Hardee's. Since Moscow, ID is about 93% LDS I bet the headline in the newspaper read, "Elders Hungry for Burgers...And Referrals." But hey, any time you are cool in a singles ward and get free food, you gotta be somebody important.

Gerg Woodsher: If you weren't my friend, I would think you were lying. Seriously. Church News. Extra in Spiderman. In the Guinness Book of Records. Professional Mascot. Creative Artist behind Garbage Pail Kids trading cards. (Okay, I made the last one up, but you get the point.)

Janan: We normally only watch church videos on Sundays, so we have seen "The Lamb of God" more times than almost any other DVD we own. Also, Los Hermanos is one of my all-time favorite restaurants, so you get bonus points for that one. One of my most embarrassing moments ever actually happened at Los Hermanos. My intramural football team at the Y won the league championship (which still ranks as the most impressive accomplishment of my entire life) and my team plus our wives/girlfriends went to Los Hermanos to celebrate. I ordered a Spicy Pork chimichanga, and everybody teased me for the rest of the night. Actually, the teasing continued for several years. Sure, the spicy pork tasted good, but it was not worth the emotional scars I still carry with me today. Am I the only person who like spicy pork? Hello? Anybody got my back here?

My Beautiful Normal Mormon Wife: If anybody else has been seen on the highest-rated television show in the nation, please raise your hand. Sure, she was only visible for half a second, but there were 33.6 million people watching when it happened. So unless you've played in the Super Bowl, the NMW probably has you beat.

Honorable Mention:
Ted: The "Now residing in a van down the the river" comment was classic. Nicely done, Ted, nicely done. That phrase was huge during the time I went into the Missionary Training Center to learn Spanish. I still remember breaking out my English-Spanish dictionary and piecing together the sentence, "Yo vivo en un furgon circa del rio!" It always got laughs in the MTC. Good times.

Cpt. Naykid: You were *this close* to being a finalist for being the #2 percussionist in Florida and being a drum line captain. Unfortunately for you the whole drum line thing wasn't cool until 2002 when the movie came out. And even then it was only cool for nine days. You peaked a few years ahead of your time, kind of like if Nirvana would have released Nevermind in 1986 only to play second fiddle to Huey Lewis & The News or the Miami Vice soundtrack. BTW - who actually did the rankings for "best high school percussionist?" Percussionists Illustrated? Better Homes, Gardens & Drums? Your parents? I'm so intrigued. Please elaborate.

Tiki Warrior: Jeffrey Dahmer? Ewww. I mean, ewwww.

Emily: Very impressive overall resume. If Bill O'Reilly would have called you a "pinhead", you totally would have been in the finals.

My Little Sister: I love ya, little sis, I really do. I don't know how you tolerated your two older brothers when you were a cute seven-year-old girl and we spent most of our days seeing who could talk like Beavis the best. Oh, the regrets. Your whole "Save the Animals" campaign was truly impressive, in retrospect. I still can't believe that the reporter ambushed you with that "so why are you wearing leather shoes?" question. Heck, I don't think Obama has been asked that tough of a question yet. I'm also relieved to see that you've channeled your energies as an adult into your education, marriage, and motherhood instead of secretly blowing up Animal Testing clinics. (Either you gave it up or you haven't been caught yet, I'm still not sure.)

Jeff: I am so glad you brought up my two-man high school band with Christian, The Fatheads. We had a few smash hit songs, including "Blue Haired Old Ladies", "12-year-old Gangsta" and "The Rooster of Love." For those of you who have never heard The Fatheads album (which is probably everybody except me, Christian, and Jeff), here are some of the lyrics. My apologies in advance to all wanna-be gangsters and the elderly:

12-year-old Gangsta (Rap Song): Hey, hey gangsta boy / Yo, yo, twelve year old / Hey, yo twelve year old gangsta boy, I wanna have a word with you / Don't you know that you're skinny? / Don't you know that you're white? / Don't you know you're from Utah? / Don't you know you can't fight? / Twelveyearoldgangsta, twelveyearoldgangsta, twelveyearoldgangsta boy (we then scratch a record for a while.)

Blue Haired Old Ladies: Blue haired old ladies / Drive too slow / They smell like a medicine cabinet / They live with cats/ (chorus): Blue haired old ladies, should stay home making doilies, don't bother me with your complaints, just stay home and knit a sweater / When I see blue haired old ladies / I see liver spots / I see a rocking chair / And I see a rocker / (chorus)

Again, if LL Cool J isn't looking for somebody to write lyrics for him, maybe I should get back together with Christian and have a Fatheads reunion tour.

Enough random stuff for one day. Go ahead and place your vote for the most famous un-famous person who was bored enough one day to post a comment.


Congratulations, Natalie. You are officially the most famous un-famous person who visits my blog! The vote was not even close. Just like Mia Hamm in her heyday, you dominated the competition. Unlike Mia, however, you were woman enough to pull it out without any stand-ins or stunt doubles. Major props, Natalie.


Vlazny's said...

I just wanted you to know that I love spicy pork too. You are not alone. why did they make fun of you? That's ridiculous. They must not be real friends.

6:27 AM
Cpt Naykid said...

So here is my elaboration... Florida had a solo competition. All the drummers can play the snare drum, so the determining factor was playing the Marimba with four mallets (two in each hand). I played an awesome piece, and as part of the performance, played laying down on the ground underneath the marimba. Unfortunately they voted me second. That was disappointing because the girl that won played a mallet piece I played my freshman year. Man...I am still bitter she won on a weaker piece with fewer style points.

Reminds me of Uncle Rice..."man if couch would've put me in during the game...we would've won state...ooh yeah...sigh..."

8:15 AM
Mikelle said...

I'm sorry NMH - but I have to raise my hand. I went to a taping of American Idol and got a great spot in the pit, right by the judges table. Needless to say, I got on TV. Granted, it was only for about two and a half seconds, but it was still awesome. I refuse to delete the episode on our DVR. I'll cherish my 2.5 seconds of fame forever (and so will my hubby).

I hate to continue, but I also got a small, inconspicuous shot on camera at a So You Think You Can Dance taping. That episode will also stay on my DVR forever. I think that takes my total seconds of fame to at least four.

10:10 AM
jeff said...

Shannon's personal favorite fathead song was "MESA - making equality stop altogether". She thinks that she still has the cassette tape somewhere.

11:32 AM
jeff said...

tiki warrior - that reminded me of the scene from Billy Maddison when he calls up steve buscemi's character and apologizes for being mean in school - then the guy crosses his name off the list of people that he should kill.

gotta be glad you never upset dahmer.

11:42 AM
Amy said...

There are some great 15 mins or so of fame here, being a double, extra in Spiderman, etc. but who can really beat being the first in line at a Hardees grand opening while on your mission? My vote is for Andymann. That is hilarious!

8:55 PM
Andymann said...

I got the front page laminated with my companion and I eating "rise and shine biscuits" at 6am.

3:56 PM