Anne Geddes - For Men

Monday, October 27, 2008

We own an enormous coffee table book called "Miracle - A Celebration of New Life." And no, guys, it's not "Miracle" as in the 1980 US Olympic hockey team that shocked the sporting world by beating the Russians in Lake Placid. Our book is quite the opposite, in fact, as it is one of those 200-page Anne Geddes photo books. You know, the ones where babies are dressed up like rutabagas, cabbages and baby wolverines in an effort to be cute.

Our Anne Geddes book is a "special" edition. By special I mean it took an otherwise successful forumla (e.g. babies dressed up as catapillar larvae fighting to the death inside of their coccoon) and made it worse. We happen to own the edition in which Anne Geddes decided to team up with Celine Dion and feature the Canadian drama queen on every single page. The simple act of leafing through this book has made me 47% less manly. I'm also now strangely, inexplicably attracted to Celine Dion and I have an uncontrollable desire to eat a head of cabbage.

Just kidding. I don't feel like cabbage.

(Pause for awkward Celine Dion-related silence)

While I was looking at page after page of Celine Dion making serious faces at sleeping babies who are dressed as miniature asps, I asked myself, "What type of pictures would Anne Geddes take if she were a man?" Well, one thing led to another and before I knew it I was doing my best to take a stab at it with Microsoft Paint. Without further ado, I present the Male Anne Geddes Collection.

Actually, I like Manne Geddes better. Enjoy!

Piece #1: The Birth of a Champion:

Piece #2: Parental Fumbles Not Allowed

Piece #3: Stanley, the Manly

Piece #4: You're Wife Got You Hook, Line, and Sinker on Having a Fourth Kid, Didn't She?

Feel free to vote on which picture you liked the best. Also, please leave some comments with other manly types of settings where Manne Geddes would take pictures. The Deer Hunt? A mechanic's garage? With a female college sports team? You tell me.

Also, instead of Celine Dion, who would be the "special" male guest? Clint Eastwood? Jack La Lane?

Enough typing. I wonder if there's a rutabaga in the fridge to snack on....


normal mormon wife said...

It's amazing what you can do with Microsoft Paint! The parental fumbles pic is the best.

Here are my other ideas:

*baby snuggled up with the PS2 controller and/or remote

*baby with electric guitar

*baby resting on the hands of the ward b-ball team members before they do their little post-game yell

6:31 AM
Sandy said...

Oh, that's awesome - I can't think of any other ones. Any idea I have would appear to endanger an actual baby...I'd go with your wife's ideas:)

7:10 AM
MDMBA said...

nice work...can you get a byu themed one? maybe the one where the "ball" is getting blocked on a field goal attempt.....just a thought.

7:25 AM

ROFL. Parental Fumbles is definitely the best! Gets my vote. You definitely need to have a picture of the Indy 500 with a race care in the winners circle and all 4 of the tires could be babies curled up :) know you like the idea, let's do eeet.

8:46 AM

This might border on sacrilege of some sort, but how about Franco Harris' Immaculate Reception with baby as football?

Or the immortal MJ silhouhette holding baby on his outstretched hand while flying to the rim from the free throw line?

Micheal Phelps with seven babies draped around his neck?

Or a shotputter (how do you spell guy who does shotput?) in his crouch with baby in place of shot?

You may have found a niche market with this "Man Geddes" book idea. Now run with it!

9:10 AM
Jared said...

My vote is Chuck Norris as special male guest. If you really want to copy the Geddes theme then the babies should be surrounded by tools, balls, or other sports-related paraphernalia.

Awesome post.

10:55 AM
Ang said...

Now that's funny stuff. Manne Geddes. Perfect.

11:06 AM
Pappy Yokum said...

I'm going to say special guest Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And another good shot, the hood is up on a Mustang Cobra with a baby curled up on the engine block, getting "rocked" to sleep by the roar of that powerful engine.

11:46 AM
Bryce said...

Special guest: Todd Palin. Hands down.

Also, possible baby positions include:

a) tucked into a baseball glove

b) in the "dip" section of a snack tray

c) as the big inflatable mascot at a Dodge dealership

d) anything wearing/involving Mossy Oak camo in combination with blaze orange.

11:55 AM
Lassen Family said...

So funny!!

...Manne Geddes....Aaaahhhhh, good stuff.

I think the first picture is the funniest, totally tickled me!

Now I want to play around on photoshop and create some more... loved this post!

12:33 PM
Anonymous said...

A baby in the man-cave mini fridge between a couple of 12-packs (of Diet Coke for this crowd).

Or how about a baby bing softly pushed across a poker table by a guy going "all in".

1:51 PM
Dennis & Hollie said...

Manne Geddes. Classic. I love it. Run with it. Guest host, Mike Rowe from Discovery Channel's "Dirty Jobs". My husband is Canadian so I would say my favorite pic is the Stanley cup. However, I must say I would love to see some of the other representations suggested by others!

10:11 AM
kP~love said...

hahahahaha so i heard about you through the when they would link to your twilight posts. so as a fellow lds member, i love to read some of these. :) i laugh so hard.
as of right now i am in the library of byu idaho, and though i should be doing howmework i am instead reading this blog. and i decided that you should probably choose my personal favorite,

anderson cooper.

in the words of christian siriano, i feel hes a "silver feroucia."

that or robert redford. but then that may be wierd.... hahaha

stanely the manly hahah

10:13 AM
Pearlie Meg said...

Just wanting to agree with the guy who voted for Chuck Norris as the "special guest". How much more manly can you get? I mean really, Chuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits.

1:56 PM