Behold, the Ultimate Man Cave! (Vote on the right for the best new feature).
There were too many great comments to fit them all in, but here are the ones that stuck:
1) Replaced the mini-fridge/freezer with a soft serve ice cream dispenser. Thanks to J-Peter for the suggestion. Since the mini-fridge garnered a whopping 3% of the "Best Feature" vote, it could definitely be axed. I love soft serve ice cream. When the NMW and I went on our 10th Anniversary cruise last summer there was a dispenser on the Lito deck. I created a policy that every time we walked by that wonderful machine that I had to get myself a cone. By the end of the week I had probably wolfed down nearly 100 cones. And don't get me started on our visits to Golden Corral. I think the next time we go I am just going to stop all of the pretenses and just eat ice cream sundaes and nothing else until my gall bladder explodes and my blood turns to a thick, delicious, white cream.
2) Got rid of the game table in favor of a Foosball table and double Pop-a-Shot game. What was I thinking with the game table? With 2% of the "Best Feature" vote, you could call it the "lame table" instead. (Say it like Adam Sandler says, "Chlorophyll? More like Borophyll!" and it's quite a bit more amusing.) Big thanks to Big Tex and Capt Naykid for talking some sense into me. The Pop-a-Shots are the best. We had one in our basement growing up and spent many an hour down there. Every time we take the kids to Chuckie Cheese I manage to slip away and drop a few tokens into the Pop-a-Shot and make a run at the record. In my Man Cave there would be an abundance of mini basketballs as well. Nothing is more frustrating than waiting for balls to roll to you when you are in a groove on Pop-a-Shot.
3) Bathroom with TV. Anonymous, whomever you are, can take credit for this one. This would also be convenient for the guy who is pretending to watch Monday Night Football but really wants to see the season finale to ER or Ugly Betty but is afraid to admit it. He could claim that the window well chicken and ice cream upset his stomach, which would explain the long, frequent visits to the john. As soon as he leaves the bathroom after visibly crying and says, "Marua Tierny just left ER!", he will be forever banned from the Cave.
4) Video Game Room. Had to replace the lame/game table with something. BTW - I will accept any and all challenges for a one-and-done Double Dribble tournament. Puberty was jump started for me the first time I saw the close-up slow motion dunk sequence. Classic.
5) Sound-proof Kids Play Room. This is not only great for "watching the kids" at the same time you are watching the game, but it would be good for general use as well. You know, like the days when you get home from Church completely exhausted and you give the kids "quiet time" in their rooms so that you can take a nap? (Does everybody else do this as well?) Well, this will give them somewhere to go while you rest from the strenuous efforts on your day of rest.
6) The Theme. Isaac, you were dead on. The Man Cave needs a theme. Instead of doing a complete Lakers, BYU, or Carolina Panthers theme, I would find old photos showing my most memorable sporting moments and hang them on all of the walls. Every one of them would be a conversation starter and provide me with sports-related warm fuzzies. Here are a few of those moments off the top of my head:
1-Magic Johnson's "Baby Hook" to beat the Celtics in the NBA Finals. Greatest play in NBA history.
2-Marcus Allen's 74-yard cut-back touchdown run against Washington in the 1982 Super Bowl. I loved the Raiders as a kid. This was before you had to worry about getting shot for gang-related reasons for wearing Raiders apparel.
3-Ty Detmer leading BYU to a win over #1 Miami in Provo. I was there, stormed the field, and snatched a handfull of turf for posterity's sake.
4-A picture of Marty Haws and Andy Toolson from BYU's basketball team. These guys were my idols as a kid. I used to pretend that I was Marty Haws when I shot around in my front yard. When I was playing hoops in High School I was invited to play in a pretty selective pick-up league for good HS players and pros who were playing in Europe and needed to stay in shape. Well, both Haws and Toolson played in this league. I will never forget one sequence where I stripped Andy Toolson and outletted the ball to Marty Haws. Marty and I had a 2-on-1 fastbreak and he gave me a perfect feed. I took the pass and threw down a monster two-handed dunk. As I parachuted down from the rim, Marty slapped my backside and yelled, "Way to finish!" That is one of most single exciting moments in my sporting life.
5-A D-League picture of Randy Livingston. This is just to be a reminder that you can take nothing in life for granted. When I was playing in the national HS All-Star circuit my Senior year, Randy Livingston was hands-down the best player in the nation. He was going to be the next MJ. Well, he got hurt, had some troubles, and ended up spending a lot of time in the D-League. This still leaves me both flummoxed and perplexed to this day.
6-Nolan Ryan holding Robin Ventura in a headlock and giving him a nuggie after Ventura charged the mound. This is both funny and instructive. Funny because Nolan Ryan is like 48 years old at the time and whipping a young punk. Instructive because it serves as a good reminder to never start a fight with an old cowboy type like Nolan Ryan, no matter how old he is or how many barbed-wire-on-the-bicep tattoos you may have.
7-Joe Carter's walk-off home run to win the World Series. I was on the deer hunt and listened to this on the radio. My brother, two cousins and I were all hormonally imbalanced teen-agers at the time and were sitting around the campfire listening to the game. As the announcer yelled, "It's going...going..going...", my grandfather turned the radio off and asked, "Do you boys know what happened to David after he slaid Goliath?" Well, I never heard the rest of the radio announcer describing one of the most dramatic World Series moments in baseball history. On the good side, I never forgot what happened to David, either.
Okay, enough typing. I'm going to bed.
I just wish I had a Man Cave so that I could squeeze in a game of Pop-a-Shot before hitting the hay. Oh well, at least I will have something to dream about tonight.
And for the rest of my life...
***MY COMMENTS ABOUT YOUR COMMENTS***
Collin - A urinal! of course! How could I have forgotten the urinal???!!! I read an article several years ago about Rasheed Wallace installing urinals in his mansion. While Rasheed can be a bonehead on the court at times, he is a genius interior decorator. I vowed to my self that day that if I ever had the money that I would install urinals in the bathroom. And then I blew it with the Man Cave design! Thanks for the reminder. When and if I ever build a Man Cave I will call the urinal "The Collin Memorial Serenity Wall" in honor of your insight.